The Crane Wife, a new memoir-in-essays by writer CJ Hauser, is a riveting look into relationships, identity, and the stories we tell ourselves. The book takes its title from Hauser’s viral essay in The Paris Review, published in 2019 and also included in the book, about her experience going on a scientific expedition to study whooping cranes just ten days after calling off her engagement. It’s about coming to terms with her wants and needs after repressing herself for so long in an unhappy relationship and, like all the other essays in this book, is incredibly insightful and beautifully written. The running thread that connects the essays in this memoir is Hauser’s relationship with relationships. She writes about her experiences in dating, including (to list a few) a fast and furious teenage romance, a complicated first experience expressing her bisexuality, and a relationship with a formerly married man that made her feel like she was living in Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca, as well as friendship, motherhood, and families, both given and chosen. Filled with revelations that seem so startlingly obvious once she points them out, like a therapist explaining why you do the things you do, The Crane Wife is thought-provoking and wildly entertaining at the same time.

If I had to pick a word to describe Hauser’s writing, it would be intention. Every essay has such clear purpose and direction, and when she expounds on a subject you can tell she’s spent her time with it, thinking it through from every possible angle. In one essay, The Lady with the Lamp, in which she shares her experience covering a robotics competition as a journalist, Hauser describes how she spent hours watching a single robot try to complete its task of opening a series of doors. That amount of laser-focused care is what I imagine goes into all of her essays — she takes subjects that are part of the cultural zeitgeist but that I’ve personally never spent any real time thinking about, and she gives them her undivided attention. Without her perspective, I would have never noticed the complexities in The Philadelphia Story or thought about the significance of the musical The Fantasticks, I wouldn’t have wondered about John Belushi’s tragic story or known there are tricks to uncovering bots on Tinder. And not only does Hauser divine meaning out of these unsuspecting subjects, but she’s able to relate these insights to her own life in a way that made me fold down page after page thinking, “Me too! I do that, too!” The Crane Wife is relatable and funny, honest and passionate, and I absolutely loved it.

I’d recommend this book to…

• Anyone looking for a memoir that tackles deep questions with compassion and humor… it’s similar in tone to Bomb Shelter by Mary Laura Philpott
• Anyone who loves a writer that nerds over ultra specific subjects… it’s similar in style to At the Stranger’s Gate by Adam Gopnik
• Anyone eager to analyze relationship behaviors and gain some really valuable insights… it’s similar in theme to This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett