In 2012, writer Heather Havrilesky created an online advice column called Ask Polly. The column originally appeared on The Awl, then moved to New York Magazine’s The Cut, and now, more than ten years later, still exists as a highly popular Substack newsletter. Readers write in with all sorts of existential questions about life and work, romantic relationships and family matters, and Havrilesky responds with practicable and often hilarious advice. Like the best possible mix between a therapist and a no-bullshit best friend, Havrilesky approaches her readers with generosity and candidness—she doesn’t judge, but isn’t afraid to call someone out and push them to do better when necessary—and offers up her own past experiences when helpful. How to Be a Person in the World, published in 2016, is a collection of Ask Polly columns in book form, a “guide through the paradoxes of modern life” that will make you feel seen, inspired, and less alone.

I read (and loved!) How to Be a Person in the World back in 2018, and was recently reminded of it after a friend forwarded me one of Havrilesky’s Substack posts. I didn’t know the Ask Polly column was still ongoing, so you can imagine how excited I was to realize I could now receive Havrilesky’s writing in my inbox weekly (I immediately subscribed, of course). Reading her recent posts prompted me to dig up my paperback for a reread, and I found myself just as enamored with the book the second time around. Havrilesky has this uncanny ability to turn a specific situation that seemingly has nothing to do with you—a 35-year old trying to date in New York City, a musician trying to decide between a career or starting a family—into something so relatable that you feel it in your core. Her responses are a lesson in compassion and perspective, and her delightfully irreverent voice is the ultimate comfort. I finished this book feeling inspired to take better care of myself and the people in my life, which is exactly what one would hope for from a book entitled How to Be a Person in the World. Highly recommend.

I’d recommend this book to…

• Anyone who wants help navigating big emotions and tricky situations… it’s similar in theme to Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
• Anyone who loves bold and irreverent social commentary… it’s similar in style to Trick Mirror by Jia Tolentino
• Anyone in the mood for something bracingly hopeful… it’s similar in tone to Bomb Shelter by Mary Laura Philpott