If you’ve watched TV at all in the last two decades, chances are you know Matthew Perry. Made famous by the hit sitcom Friends, Perry charmed the world with his sarcastic humor and boyish charm as Chandler Bing, and has been a household name ever since. Now, the beloved actor has written a memoir — Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing — that proves just how little we actually know about Matthew Perry. He covers his childhood spent playing tennis in Canada, his intriguing parents (his mother was the press secretary for Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau and his father was the face of Old Spice), his early days of failed pilots in LA, his rise to celebrity as Chandler (could he be any more famous?), and his various romances, friendships, and mentorships along the way. But the focus of the memoir, and what was clearly his main motivation for writing, is Perry’s struggle with addiction. Within the first couple sentences of the book, Perry posits, “I should be dead,” and what follows is a harrowing account of his drinking and drug use, countless rehabilitation attempts and surgeries, and the heavy physical and emotional toll this Big Terrible Thing has taken on his life. From the vantage point of hard-earned sobriety, Perry has decided to share his truth, not for pity or publicity, but to help those who may also be suffering. Perry writes in that charming, funny voice we all know so well, and to read his devastating, thoughtful, inspiring story is a beautiful thing.
In a New York Times interview, Perry mentioned that he hopes Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing will be shelved in the self-help section of bookstores, and that, to me, so succinctly sums up this book. At face value, it’s a celebrity memoir, but at its heart, it’s a letter to anyone suffering from addiction, a way for Perry to extend his testimony in hopes that it helps someone. Although Perry walks us through experiences like Friends and The Whole Nine Yards, offering fond memories and funny behind-the-scenes stories, it’s always through the lens of his addiction and sobriety journey. His writing his honest and extremely self-aware, and he never spins a story in order to make himself look better; in fact, he talks about his most unflattering moments in great detail as if to reassure the reader that we can always come back from rock bottom. I appreciated Perry’s bravery and was impressed by his clear writing skill (he notably had no help from a ghostwriter), but what I loved most about this book was Perry’s sense of humor. Even while writing about such intense topics, Perry maintains a playful, sarcastic, and confident tone, like a wiser version of Chandler Bing; what a joy to hear that voice again, especially in the context of knowing how close we were to losing it. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is a great read — highly recommend.
I’d recommend this book to…
- Anyone who loves a celebrity memoir that’s more about struggle and mortality than it is about fame… it’s similar in style to Just Kids by Patti Smith
- Anyone who appreciates entertaining stories told with humor, charm, and vulnerability… it’s similar in tone to Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
- Anyone looking for insight into addiction and self-worth… it’s similar in theme to Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed
